Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Looking in the mirror

Every so often, it helps to look in the mirror. Check on those teeth + reach for that floss. Grab that facewash + cleanse those pores. Pickup that razor + clean up that chin.

I'm not declaring spinach-in-your-teeth, clogged-pores, or a five-o-clock-shadow as features of "ugliness" (aka as 'unbeautiful') or anything, but there are certain things you might just be better without.

I guess this week was one of those clear reminders. Being 24, semi-independent, and relatively accomplished by worldwide standards (I'm talking about getting my bachelors degree), I've always felt a certain confidence in my life.

The world is full of opportunities! Adventure is out there!

And sometimes, we forget to look in the mirror. Ok, I forget to look in the mirror. As put together and professional I can be among the most difficult situations-- chaotic wedding mornings, uncooperative children, camera-shy seniors, children going in and out of seizures for 2hrs straight-- sometimes I just get plain upset at really stupid things. I take things the wrong way, and bam. Cordially offended by someone's poor attitude, or the fact that someone speaks to me in malcontent. Or a wedding guests' rude attitude. Or when everything runs late, time and time again, at a super long wedding day. And suddenly, in those moments of uncontrolled emotions, I am reminded how puny and blemished I really am.

Some people get tattoos to remind them of things. Others, they punch away at their iphone calendars to mark down the tiniest little reminders. When we were kids, there was an old fashion practice of tying a string around one's finger as a reminder of a chore or an act to be done. For me, I think my biggest reminders are in those "Oh boy, what a fool I am" kind of moments. Moments that happen in which, after cooling down, I cringe and wish I had a CTRL-Z button to push. Regardless of how many fingers I can point outwards and no matter how I can argue my case effectively, there's always one finger pointing back at me.

And one thing stands true: I am the biggest, most broken sinner that I know of.

In that same thought, it is also a reminder of where our dependence should lie as Christians. The church isn't full of holy and beautiful people; it is made up of broken, foolish, and lousy people. We are made Holy in Christ (1 peter 2:4-5). How much more we should learn, each day, to cling to Christ, knowing we are really nothing without Him? How constant are the reminders we need of how little we are, as human beings? May we constantly be reminded of this for the very reason to point our hearts back to the cross. - Revelation: I overanalyze when it comes from E-type people. There, problem solved. Relieved.